Gone Forever
by Aro
Summary: Romyish. You never know what you have until you lose it. Unfortunately, Remy must realize that. -- As I stared down at th’ life I helped create, I vowed I would always be there fo’ her. I was hopin’ that could be a promise I kept.


                  --

                  **Disclaimer**: _I don't own X-Men: Evolution_

                  **A/N**: _Short one shot. While it's in Remy's point of view, the flashbacks (supported by italics and '…') aren't in any POV. Enjoy. No flames._

                  --

             She would grow to be a splittin' image of 'er mother, inside an' out. She had 'er mother's eyes an' most likely would have 'er temper. Her skin was velvetly smooth. I remember thinkin' how rough my hands must've felt against th' silky flesh.

                  Jean was starin' at me from th' doorway, her green eyes shinin' with unshed tears. It was an unbelievable sight, me sittin' there, holdin' my daughter, my cheeks wet.

                  She was now four weeks old an' this was th' first time I held the _ange_ in my arms. I jus' couldn't bare it. When I returned t' my room, I saw that they had laid 'er down on my bed. For nearly a half hour, I jus' stared down at the fussin' _béb_.

                  She was so small an' only had a layer of fuzz as hair covering the top of 'er head. A lump formed in my throat and my eyes started t' burn as I picked 'er up. I jus' sat down on th' bed, craddlin' 'er in my arms. She stopped fussin' and her eyes slowly dropped.

                  It had been jus' over nine months ago when my life was takin' a turn fo' the worse. As I stared down at th' life I helped create, I vowed I would always be there fo' her. I was hopin' that could be a promise I kept.

                  …

                  _"I jus' can't take it anymore, Rem." Rogue sat at the edge of their bed, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs, which were pulled up against her chest. "You never talk to me. Never." _

_                  Remy was sitting on the windowsill, taking a drag from his cigarette. His eyes gazed out the window. "You're makin' a mess out of nothin'." He stated, a puff of smoke rose out of his mouse slowly as he exhaled. He was used to the fights now, there was always one a day, usually a minor one: only two hours of shouting back and fourth at each other. _

_                  "Yeah, stupid Rogue. Blowin' this all out of proportion." She spat like venom, her angry green eyes narrowed forward at him. Remy rolled his eyes in response, taking another drag from his cigarette. "I'm sick of livin' like this. You never want to talk about the future." _

_                  "I jus' don't like thinkin' about things like that." He said evenly, "When we got that power negatin' collar, we just became a couple. That ain't good enough?" _

_                  "Sometimes I wonder why we even bother stayin' together." Rogue snapped, now staring down at the carpet._

_                  "No one says you have t' stay committed." Once he spoke those words, he knew he would regret them. He even looked back at Rogue whose eyes were slightly wide by the harsh comment. Nothing he could say now would make up for those words. Remy had to stop himself from asking why she was acting so weird. _

_                  "To you I must just be an easy lay." She mumbled, blinking back tears. "Thanks a lot, Gambit." She shot angrily. In a beat, she unwrapped her arms and stood up, immediately turning on her heel. She walked towards the door, and when she reached it, she broke into tears. "By the way, I'm pregnant."_

                  …

                  Our relationship was over. She told m' t' leave, that she didn't need m'. Rogue ended up lockin' herself in th' bathroom an' refused t' leave. I blew up th' knob an' told 'er nothin' she could do would make m' leave, that everythin' was goin' to be all right an' I'd be there fo' 'er.

                  Rogue was very hostile towards me an' t' be honest, I never blamed 'er. Back then, I convinced myself I fell out of love wit' 'er. I completely ignored th' feelin' in my heart.

                  We tried t' make it work, we really did. It didn't help that Rogue thought we were only stayin' together fo' the welfare of the growing life inside of 'er 'cause that jus' put a strain on everythin'.

                  …

                  _"Do I look fat?" Rogue stood sideways in front of the mirror, staring at the reflection of her distended stomach. She scrunched up her nose at the sight, wishing the next five months would just pass already. She glanced back at Remy who was drawing out the plans for their unborn child's nursery. He glanced up at her, his eyes settling on her swollen stomach. _

_                  A smile curved on his lips. 'Four months down, five mo' t' go.' Remy said to him, hoping that at the arrival would make them a true family. He had a mental image of the three of them; Rogue sitting on the bed, glowing proudly, Remy standing next to her in scrubs, holding their newborn._

_                  Rogue gaped at him, accusingly. "Don't laugh at me." She snapped, self-consciously wrapping her arms around herself. _

_                  "I wasn't laughin'." Remy stated offensively, deadpanning, feeling slightly offended. "You're pregnant, not fat." He added, not pleased with his answer. Rogue wasn't either._

_                  "I know I'm not." She snapped, "Most of the weight I gained is the baby stuff an' the water. Therefo' I am just pregnant."_

_                  Remy sighed, setting down his pencil. Through gritted teeth he said, "Do you want t' talk?" Rogue rolled her eyes and sat down next to him. On impulse, he splayed his palm against her stomach. He shut his eyes, making himself more aware and hoping to feel a kick. His eyes opened when he felt Rogue run her hand through his tousled hair. She placed her hand over his and gently slid it to the side where he felt the small kick. Their smiling eyes met._

_                  "I love you." Remy whispered to her, to which she nodded._

_                  "I know." A hesitant small smile curved on her lips. "I love ya too, sugah." _

                  …

                  _Oui_, we still had feelings fo' each other. Havin' this child brought us together closer than we were before. She drove me crazy wit' her mood swings, an' 'er food cravings. T'day I realize that in my own crazy way I didn't mind.

                  When I asked Rogue t' marry m', she started cryin' which either was because I asked o' because of how emotional she was 'cause of the pregnancy. She jus' told m' she loved m' but wasn't ready.

                  I never understood that. The _fille_ was pregnant wit' my child yet she wasn't ready?

                  Durin' the course of 'er pregnant we got closer than ever befo'. Yet, things were still hesitated between us.

                  …

                  _"Why are you watchin' comedies?" Remy had asked his seven-month pregnant girlfriend. Rogue was sitting on the couch with Kitty, who didn't look too enthusiastic._

_                  "She's hoping that all the laughing will make her go into labor sooner." Kitty answered with an eye roll. "She acts like one good punch line and the baby is going to slip out from between her legs and onto the carpet." Rogue, who had a bowl of Frito's balancing on her stomach, threw a chip at the other girl. "She's sick of being pregnant and so am I." _

_                  "You have two mo' months t' go. You're not givin' premature birth." Remy didn't bother turning off the DVD they were watching; he doubted that was possible. He did sit next to Rogue. When he reached in the bowl, she slapped his hand away._

_                  "Mine. I'm eatin' for two, mind you."_

_                  "Non, you got to eat enough nutrients and such for two." He took the bowl off her stomach. "An' stop usin' our child as a table." There was a playful sound in his voice, to which Rogue responded with an eye roll._

_                  "Sorry. Next time you can carry the baby." As she went back to watching the movie, Remy stared at her, smiling; maybe there was hope for a better relationship after all. _

                  …

                  I thought things were goin' t' be all right. The night befo' she went into labor we actually had a nice long talk about th' future. I remember holdin' 'er in my arms, feelin' the baby move underneath my clasped hands.

                  She went into labor two weeks early. It was certainly a night I will never fo'get. Especially since I wasn't there.

                  …

                  _"Shit." Rogue had cursed, rubbing her oversized stomach. She shut her eyes tightly and bit down on her lower lip as she paced the bedroom, one hand pressed against the small of her aching back. She winced in pain as another contraction hit her full on. Breathlessly, she walked out of the room. Ororo had the room across from her so she knocked on it, hoping the weather witch wouldn't mind that she disturbed her because she was having contractions. _

_                  "Yes?" In a beat, when Ororo opened the door, Rogue doubled over in pain. "Rogue!"_

                  …

                  It was a stupid time t' go on a mission. Was supposed to only be one that lasted for a few hours but the weather didn't agree.

                  I remember gettin' back to the mansion, expectin' everyone to be asleep and t' just crawl in bed and hold Rogue. Much t' my surprise, everyone was awake. They all scared at One-eye boy, Logan and myself as we walked down th' hall. I could sense it in them. Somethin' was wrong.

                  Jean told me that Rogue went int' labor an' now was in surgery. She said somethin' about Rogue hemorrhagin' but everythin' seemed t' stop jus' at the words Rogue went int' labor an' the surgery.

                  I jus' stood there speechless as she walked back into the medical wing. Scott put a hand on my shoulder but it wasn't comfortin'. Takin' a deep breath, I ran towards the doors that would lead m' t' Rogue. Took Wolverine an' Scott to pull me back, sayin' that everythin' would be all right an' that I couldn't go in.

                  T' this day, I wish I did.

                  …

                  _Jean walked out from the medical wing. A solemn expression was set on her pale face. Her eyes were glossy as she stared at Remy. "You have a girl." She whispered, but Remy didn't smile, or laugh, or give out cigars. Emotions of sadness and regret drifted from her._

_                  Remy's heart seemed to stop. "An' Rogue?" He asked, nearly choking on his words._

_                  "I'm sorry Gambit." She had whispered, heavy tears falling from her eyes. "They couldn't stop it. They tried their hardest—"_

_                  Remy cut her off by standing up and walking away._

_                  It wasn't until three weeks later he returned to the institute._

                  …

                  I walked around a lot, tryin' t' clear my head. When I returned t' the institute unshaven, I jus' went to my room and showered. By the third day, Jean asked me if I wanted t' see my daughter. I just stared blankly at 'er.

                  By the seventh day, t'day, they gave up an' instead of takin' m' t' my daughter, they brought 'er t' me.

                  She's _belle_. A lot of people say that about their children whether o' not it's true but _this_ was true.

                  I felt horrible 'bout leavin' her. I felt horrible 'bout not attendin' Rogue's funeral the day befo'.

                  Hell, I felt like shit.

                  Jean cleared her throat and said somethin' 'bout namin' 'er. I nodded numbly. It wasn't like I was never goin' t' name her. I wanted t' wait fo' my mind t' settle befo' I named 'er.

                  "I want t' see Rogue." I said, looking up into her surprised eyes. "Take me t' 'er grave."

                  Jean didn't say anythin'; she jus' slowly walked away, me followin' behind 'er.

                  There was a small strip of land which th' Professor saved for deceased mutants. Underneath a tree was Rogue's grave. I asked Jean t' go get a camera.

                  While she was gone, I sat down next to the tomb. My daughter woke up by then and started fussin' as she stared up at me. "This is your mom." I stated softly, "This is where she lays."

                  Jean came back a few minutes later, holdin' a camera. I asked her t' take a picture although I'm sure she got the picture already. A few seconds later I heard th' click and saw the flash.

                  "Merci." I mumbled t' her. She just mumbled somethin' back and said she'll let me be. I muttered another thanks as she walked away.

                  "I'm sorry." I said t' Rogue, "But I promise I'll make it up. Things will be better." I repeated it again; when I realized I was jus' tryin' t' convince myself. I got t' my feet and stared down. I took Rogue fo' granted th' two years we had been t'gether. In the past nine months he realized how much he loved Rogue and now, he only realized how much he missed her. "I need a cigarette." I grunted miserably, slowly walking back to the institute with his daughter.

                  --

                  **A/N**: _Unbelievably stupid. I know. x.x_

                  _I didn't name the baby for a reason, and that reason is simple; I couldn't think of a name_.


End file.
